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QUITTER'S CLIFF: Advice for Avoiding a Dreaded Fate

Tuesday, September 1, 2020 by Cara Walsh Dorman | Staying the Course

In my line of work, a specific confession is routinely offered up when someone finds out I’m a music teacher: “When I was a kid I didn’t practice.” I can see the guilty party getting ready to wince, almost expecting me to whip out a ruler at this admission. Without fail, what immediately follows is, “But I wish I would have stuck with it so that now I could really play!” That last part is usually said in total earnest and (I’m pretty sure) not just to escape the whack of the ruler.

The specter of the missed opportunity to become a good player haunts many “ex”-music students. Those who gave up their instrument will readily admit not having the discipline to have kept up on practice, yet seem to honestly regret the fateful--and maybe premature-- decision to quit altogether. 

Truth is, there are dozens of obstacles a music student will encounter on the journey that threaten to imperil their enthusiasm for music practice. New activities, seasonal sports, and social events often get prioritized for the short or long-term and will disrupt music studies. School work and family life, both of which must take precedence over all else during certain periods, can end up having unintended consequences on a student’s practice regimen. One week’s faltering leads to resisting parents’ urges to “please go practice”, and not long after comes the fatal blow of a resounding, “I quit!” The tragic scenario plays out again, and as their parents did before them, another generation of children falls to their music education demise, the end.

But is it really fated? Is your child destined to be swept into the abyss as well? Naturally, I’m going to say “no” in the same breath as I say “but”, and that’s because it is necessary to be informed about potential pitfalls that lie in the path of the music student which can derail practice and lead to straight to that cliff.

What could cause your kid’s dedication to waver? Here are two common culprits. 

A biggie these days is overscheduling. Kids are expected to pack a lot of productivity into their days and the sheer number of hours already spoken for can leave little time and energy for music. If your child has a standard school day and homework load, plus a single activity/sport involving 3-5 weekly practices in addition to games, meets, etc. a significant portion of their time is already dedicated. Family commitments, time for friends, and downtime must be factored in as well. If your kid is overbooked, the first thing to go is almost always music practice.

Conversely, some kids have the time but aren’t the best at managing it. While school hours and sports practices occur at preset times, music practice does not. Interestingly, the solution for both the too-busy and the too-distracted is to independently preset time for music practice. I provide both a practice planner and a tracker at the outset of lessons to handle this task. Outside of the weekly 30 to 60-minute lesson, most teachers recommend 20-45 minutes of daily practice with a day or two off. I require a minimum 5 days’ practice and usually tell kids to front-load the practice week according to when the lesson occurs for best retention. This translates to practicing at least the first 3 days after the lesson before taking a day off, then getting two more practices in. 

Sometimes a simple solution is to let practicality win out, however, so I’ll recommend kids pinpoint the two busiest days in the week and plan for practice all other days. It doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective!

Kids do need to have some brainpower and alertness for quality practice, so timing is key to make sure they have the energy for it. In other words, don’t leave it until nearly bedtime (unless you enjoy unwinding with your practice). One regular suggestion I make is to fit it in with homework: before, between, or after. Music requires mental focus, but is active as well. Doing practice just before homework can make for a natural segue into preparing to “hit the books”. Or for some kids, it works to make music practice a break between homework sessions. Kids find the activity of music practice refreshes them while keeping their brain “on” and able to return to homework. Music can go after homework as well. For kids who look forward to their time on the instrument, saving it for after homework is a satisfying and pleasant wrap up for the daily to-do list. But my strongest suggestion for planning practice? Experiment! Be open to trying out one time for a while, then switching it up if it’s not working. 

Another HUGE detriment to music practice (for any age student, but particularly for kids) is inconsistent lesson attendance. We’re not talking about the occasional sickness, or important and unavoidable school obligation. This pertains more to blowing off lessons just a little too often. By the same token, routinely coming late cuts into lesson time so that little gets accomplished and starts to have a cumulative effect on motivation and morale. Lesson time is precious and we try to cram an entire week’s material into 30 short minutes. Missing a lesson means a student doesn’t get feedback or help for half a month! Whether a kid is anxious to pass a nearly completed song, or is totally stalled out in some cryptic notation in measure 14, absolutely nothing torpedoes progress for a music student like chronically missing lessons.

The take away? You CAN break the cycle of abandoned musical pursuits! Plan your practice, get to your lessons, and keep at it! After all, I’ve never yet heard anyone say, “I wish I would have quit sooner so I wouldn’t have gotten as good as I did.” No one ever regrets continuing their music adventure!